As we are reminiscing ...
I was in a beaten up old ford escort with a girlfriend heading back to the Calais ferry (this was in the early 90s, I was in my early 20s). My right foot was planted firmly in the carpet getting the max out of the motor in an attempt to catch the last ferry back that day. Came over a hill to find a policeman standing in the road waving at me to pull in, only problem was the car wouldn't stop in time as I was flat out, so I ended up a couple of hundred yards further down the road in a fog of tyre smoke. Anyway, this copper came running over to get me out of the car and then marched me over to a well hidden van and some his mates with a screen showing my car and some ridiculous speed they had clocked me at.
Next they demanded my passport which I handed over. Then one of them explained I had a 120 franc fine to pay on the spot (it was about ?100). I was totally broke, had a British cheque book and card, and a massive, unauthorised overdraft, no cash. I offered them a cheque. Non, cash only, so off I went in their van to the nearest town where we found a cash point (all the while my girlfriend is following us in the car, which was hers). So no guesses, the cashpoint refused to hand over any money but thankfully didn't eat my card (which I was expecting being so financially f?&ked at the time). So not having any of this, the police then took me in their van to a petrol station where they obviously had a nice little arrangement with the attendant. They tried to put through a transaction but my card did not authorise. At this point I was shrugging my shoulders, no idea why it's not working officer...honest.
The plod who spoke English then explained that because I couldn't pay I would be taken before the magistrate and the court would decide how much money I would 'earn' whilst being locked up in cells, a few days would probably cover the fine. Holy crap, I was now getting really worried. The girlfriend shrugged her shoulders and said 'well if that's what's going to happen I'm not waiting here for days'. Great.
They put me back in the van and drove on to a bank. In we went to try another transaction, card refused again. Right, I thought, just remember not to drop the soap.
We came out of the bank and the copper took me to one side, gave me my passport back and said he was going to let me go, just like that. I didn't need telling twice, jumped in the car with the girlfriend and legged it.
When we got to Calais (missing the ferry) I told of the experience to a waitress who explained the coppers were only interested in cash to split between them, sending me to jail was a waste if their time.