What made me smile today...

[sliderbill]

Getting told a joke.............

Lady takes her slightly limp looking pet duck? to the vet 'cos it's not been itself of late.

Vet takes a look and says weeeellllll........bad knews i'm afraid.........your duck is dead Ma'am.......lady says - No No! Don't say that.... it can't be - we've got to do something! Is there no way I can have a second opinion?

So... the vet says certainly - no problem, and shouts Rover!! .......C'mere boy - and points at the duck on the operating table - Rover the labrador comes in stretches his front paws up onto the table and has a sniff about the lifeless body of the duck before giving it a bit of a poke with his paw - he then looks up with big watery eyes before turning and pads forlonly away.

Lady says well, well? Vet says.....but Ma'am, I thought that was quite obvious!?

Lady says.. Oh no! - We can't just give up........ is there nothing else you can do ?

The vet has a think for a bit and then shouts - here Kitty Kitty! ............Kitty (the) cat walks in and jumps up on the table - she also has a bit of a sniff about the - by now quite stiff body of the duck - gently pushes the duck with a paw, lets out a quiet meow and she to looks up forlonly before hopping down off the table and going out the same door as Rover.

The vet says - well Ma'am - it's absolutely conclusive now.......... I'm sorry but your duck is definitely dead.

The lady by now seems to have accepted the fact, and reluctantly asks the vet how much she owes him for his diagnosis and consultation.

The vet tots things up in his head and says - that'll be £150.00 please Maam.

Lady lets out an exclamation and syas £150.00!! - But, but....thats ridiculous - how can you possibly justify that price for what you've just done?

Vet says - come come madam......... it's not only what I've done - you did have the Lab report and the Cat-scan as well! 8) ;D

(Sorry............i'll leave now!)

Cheers..........BB

 

[fatbob]

Passed a zzr at 175mph in Germany withy luggage and rucksack bobbing around and seeing the look on his face
Made my day , can't wait to jump in the bath tomorrow when I get home

 

[unionjack]

Thats what I'll be doing in weeks. ;D

 

[jamie]

Thats what I'll be doing in weeks. ;D

what having a bath lmao ;D ;D ;D

 

[phil]

Booking a couple of Hotels for a wee trip to Bonnie Scotland next week, I cannie wait ;D

 

[sliderbill]

Hi Phil,
not sure when you are going to Sconnie Botland............but here's a wee welcome for you......which way are you going?
This is a sight that should greet you if you go up the east coast route via Newcastle / Berwick / and Edinburgh (Not the bike but the sign!).

Let us know how you get on.

Cheers and Enjoy.

 

[Johnboy]

Track evening booked at Cadwell on Mon 16th July, £39 back of the net

 

[coop]

Planning tonight for 3 day trip to the Scottish Highlands in July

Where are you heading?

 

[Johnboy]

1st day east yorks up thru the lakes to Biggar for 1st night, then up to Glencoe via a82, round Kinlochleven and back to Hawick for 2nd night then back. Looking forward to it

 

[phil]

Coming back to work today and realising its only a 4 day week ;D

 

[PhilHays]

Something magic happened whilst on the M62 the other day.

The Highways Authority had stopped all traffic at Junction 24 -25. I filtered to the front of the stationery Cars and with the exception of a Highways Vehicle, the motorway was empty as far as the eye could see.

2 other bikes pulled up to the front. A KTM SuperDuke & a VFR. I looked at the other riders, then put the S1000RR into RACE mode; because you know we're all thinking the same thing!

And then..... the Highways Auth. car started moving slowly forward, turned its sign off then pulled over. And we were off.

Now this is the first time I've ever yanked the throttle all the way round on my Motorbike. These are the words that came into my head. "OH MY GOD... OH MY FU*KING GOD ARRRRRGGHHH Haaaa haaaaaaaa".

The acceleration scared the Sh*te out of me. Before my brain could figure out what to do, I was at Junction 25 and had travelled about 2.5 miles uphill. Thank god for Traction Control!

I looked in my mirror and could only see the KTM in the distance.

Then I went home and had a cuppa tea.

 

[phil]

The acceleration scared the Sh*te out of me. Before my brain could figure out what to do, I was at Junction 25 and had travelled about 2.5 miles uphill.

Then I went home and had a cuppa tea.

;D ;D

 

[eneasz]

Reading PhilHays's post about m62

 

[jamie]

Reading PhilHays's post about m62

x2, top post

 

[unionjack]

That brought a smile to my face. Happened to me on the M25 at Pottesrbar. I was on a ZZR14 exactly the same scenario but there was a crowd of about twenty bikes at the front and we all took off together. You know the rest.

 

[phil]

That brought a smile to my face. Happened to me on the M25 at Pottesrbar. I was on a ZZR14 exactly the same scenario but there was a crowd of about twenty bikes at the front and we all took off together. You know the rest.

What, you Stalled the ZZR and Highway guys fell about Laughing ;D ;D ;D

 

[unionjack]

;D Ha ha thats the police friendly version

 

[jamie]

6 hours of riding, home to world superbikes and 2 matches washed down with a couple of beers and a bottle of muton cadet. HAPPY TIMES

 

[Fordy99]

A BMW M3 driver that thought giving me a race today was a worth while exercise, i think you all know the outcome, not much of a challenge but made me smile anyway ;D

Ha Sparky, reminds me. I had a race with a Merc SMG whatsit. Proper fast car but you should have seen his face when I took my hand off the bar and wagged a finger at him like a naughty school boy - before leaving him to rue his mistake of course...

 

[reddevil007]

Had similar with 12 plate Maserati. He saw me coming down outside lane of dual carriageway and booted it (you could hear the auto box kick down). I just waved as cruised past with 3 gear changes left. He just gave up. £90k v £12k BMW