Valencia MotoGP Road trip

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After a great nights sleep I was on the road early to hunt down some coffee and breakfast as shockingly the hotel never included that in the cheap price, lol.
Not having a clue the best way to Portugal I decided to go for the windiest road I could see on my map, it also appeared to go over the top of some mountains so what else is a guy to do.
Traffic was very sparse after I escaped from Ciudad Real town centre but had the misfortune to get stuck outside several Primary Schools where the lights were all locked on red to allow all the Spanish yummy mummy's to escort their children into the playground. I've seen less beautiful women on the Victoria's Secret catwalk and I was in half a mind to wait there until the kids were getting picked up at night but I figured I'd have to bash on.

Found a lovely rural wee cafe in a tiny wee village and was treated to a great breakfast with yet more fantastic coffee all for ?6, you'd struggle to get a coffee in a cardboard cup for that in Edinburgh far less get the attention and service the Spaniards seem to give out effortlessly.

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My route from this Oasis then took me up some worn out old road higher and higher up the mountain range but with temps in the twenties I knew snow would not be an issue today.

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Over the mountain and heading down into civilisation I saw lots of wildlife in the way of birds of all shapes sizes and colours from tiny to big buzzards hunting their own breakfast.

Sadly one of them decided to try and fly between my wheels and I saw the unfortunate wee thing being flung in the air in my mirror and landing in the middle of the road. I doubled back to check on it and found it's limp body in the middle of the road. It's skull was wide open from the back so I trying it got caught in the spokes so would have been instant.
I put the bird at the side of the road knowing that some other animal would get a free lunch from this incident but things like this prey on my mind as I love all animals and don't like to cause any harm to them.

Pushing on Westwards I stopped at a service station and phoned home telling the family how I was and that I was heading to Lisbon and that I thought I was near the border.

I filled up the bike and rode out the garage wondering how long it would be to get there, I did however know I was heading in the right direction, even without my useless SatNav, haha.

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This is old school navigation Oli.

JimmyMac



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This is old school navigation Oli.

JimmyMac

No idea how you do it Jimmy, I get cold sweats at just the thought of being somewhere unknown without a functioning SatNav and intercom!
Sad part is I could be 10 miles away from home lol [emoji23]
Even more ironic is I have the whole of Europe downloaded on my TomTom app, just on the off chance I get lost on a trip to Tesco ...

Another cracking instalment Jimmy, thanks again for posting [emoji4]

Oli
 
I was soon approaching Lisbon from the the south and I had to cross a bridge that reminded me of the Forth Road Bridge so I pulled in to set up my GoPro to film going over it. The Police car had been abandoned to I used it's as backdrop.

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Up until I arrived I never knew Lisbon had such a big river next to it and as I crossed the bridge I saw a large statue of Christ overlooking the bridge and river in my mirror. Very similar to Christo Redentor in Rio, I made a mental note to cross the bridge in the other direction in the morning to get some photos of it with the morning sun above it.

The driving in Lisbon is chaotic and so fast it really takes some concentration to avoid taking wrong turns and hitting stuff so I was very glad to get to my hotel and ditch all my gear so I could hit the town and pick up some culture as well as my pannier decals.

First impressions were not good as I dislike graffiti as I don't see it as art but as sheer vandalism, I would quite happily chain a vandal to a leaking manure spreader and not release them until they had cleaned the building off all their scribe.

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However I digress. I saw some lovely architecture and wandered down some small streets to find a souvenir shop that had stickers.

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I found a little shop selling the usual touristy tat which was perfect and I picked up 2 small stickers that never had a price on them, the thieving shit behind the counter, I mean the shopkeeper then asks where I am from before he tells me they are ?4 each even though they were only worth about ?0.50 at most.

Unbeknown to me at the time he will not be the biggest bandit I meet in Lisbon before I leave.

A short walk up the centre of town sees me in obviously the most affluent area as it is rammed full of designer shops and boutiques. I saw a nice jacket that my Daughter might like and went in to enquire about it.

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It had a price tag of ?1400 on it and I was really glad it wouldn't fit in my panniers along side my ravioli.

I started to wonder how they could justify such a price but then remembered that if you buy some designer trousers the shop assistant has to walk about with you when you wear them and scratch your nuts for you on demand.

Yet more graffiti on a much larger scale, still don't like it.

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Went to a little craft market which was more my style and got a few little gifts before realising Felix must have been here before me either to vandalise the place or to buy some nut scratchers trousers.

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I spent the rest of the day enjoying some beautiful statues and a lovely walk which was all the better as my hip had finally stopped hurting from my Pyrenees pirouette of last week.

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JimmyMac






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Love the double-entendre photos there Jimmy - you must have a dirty mind.. or maybe its me :) Looking like you're having a proper good time.

We have 2 Portuguese guys working for us in Faro - 1 of them has a gaff in Lisbon that he rents out - i think I might tap him up for a week or 2 after seeing your pics.
 
Lisbon has had somewhat of a renaissance since drugs were legalised a few years ago. Before that much of the city was very dodgy with plenty of no-go areas and it looked terrible. Much nicer now.

Enjoying the pics :).
 
The Portuguese obviously have a commitment to preserving trees as this must have cost a few quid to safeguard this one whilst the building work carried on around it.

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Quite glad this guy wasn't pointing to any cable cars like his Spanish counterpart.

I started walking back to my hotel and wondered what to get up to to entertain myself, I decide to use my pretty pathetic Portuguese lingo to find out if there were any places I could get a blue movie as the nights wee long on my own and my room had a DVD player. My language skills obviously need some practice and like a 2nd division football player I hit the bar in my quest, ending up here.

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They were a bed shop and never one to miss a bargain I now have a double divan and a steel framed bunk bed in the for sale section, lol.

Giving up on the porn I went for a pizza and some water and headed back.

I walked past the shop that sells the trousers with the Gentlemans "Ball Butler" in the window, got to say lads up till now I thought it was just an urban myth, haha.

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Got back to the hotel and while enjoying my pizza had a scroll back through my photos and realised Felix had been here to vandalise the place after all and had left a discrete message to his pal Oli on the bottom of the man hole cover I saw earlier.

Done my washing, charged the batteries and bed, great day.

JimmyMac





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I obviously took that photo innocently Wayne and the dirty mind is all yours, lol.

Soof, the city was a bit different to Barcelona but with some lovely sights.

Glad youse are enjoying this.

JimmyMac
 
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I think the tree preservation will probably be funded by our EU commission friends, the Portuguese are masters at acquiring funds from the EU budget. A couple of decades ago a huge swathe of cork trees mysteriously caught fire, and they happened to belong to the minister for the interior, and the EU duly paid out the compensation lol. The EU also paid for all the motorways that have been built over the past 20 years, the idea was that the Algarve would become the holiday destination for all Europeans, so a great road infrastructure was required. Another white elephant, but superb roads!

If your next write up is going north of Lisbon that for me is where the country really is stunning, with roads to compliment.

edit - and the Merry Christmas etching on the window couldn't be more perfectly placed lol.
 
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Another thoroughly enjoyable instalment Jimmy, though I agree with you entirely on graffiti!

@Felix you definitely need to work on the ?discrete? messages lol [emoji23]
 
Another thoroughly enjoyable instalment Jimmy, though I agree with you entirely on graffiti!

@Felix you definitely need to work on the “discrete” messages lol [emoji23]

Haha, Ben's needing to learn how to spell F13k.........

JimmyMac
 
Thanks for posting Jimmy. Very amusing. Some great photoshopping (sic) there. (Especially the bed shop) You can hardly tell that the polic?a car has been photoshopped into the 4th (sic) Bridge. :)
 
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Thanks for posting Jimmy. Very amusing. Some great photoshopping (sic) there. (Especially the bed shop) You can hardly tell that the polic?a car has been photoshopped into the 4th (sic) Bridge. :)

Photoshop, you give me too much credit, I struggle with anything more complex than eBay, lol

Will finish this story this weekend before my memory fades, there is some fun in the sun still to be shared.

JimmyMac
 
Early rise today as I wanted to go and get a nice photo of that Forth Bridge lookalike and the Jesus statue.

Out on the road for 7.30 and the traffic is as mental as it was yesterday afternoon.
Seriously I have ridden many places and Lisbon must be the most chaotic and busy, actually it did get me thinking of just heading out of the city and fleeing for the hills.

I approached a set of lights that were at red and filtered my bike towards the front of the queue, as I crept between two taxis at the front of the stationary traffic I heard an unmistakable noise of metal scraping on something else.
Looking to my right I saw my panniers had caught the left mirror of the taxi and had knocked a bit off. Being an honest type of guy I acknowledged the driver and pulled across the front of him parking on the pavement.
He got out his taxi and picked up the plastic cover of his mirror and we both inspected the damage. The glass was perfect as was the electrics, I was thankful that it had only popped the plastic off as it would easily be put back on.
The mirror was put back together and was perfectly serviceable but the driver insisted that I give him ?150 because the plastic had a small split in it, could have been there before but who am I to argue but ?150 FFS.
I handed him ?50 and told him that was more than enough but accepted that he was stationary at the time so I should pay for it.

He turned out to be the second Bandit I encountered in Lisbon and I was seething at the financial rape that he was attempting, he insisted that I give him the full amount or he would call the Police.

Despite all my protests and attempts to give him some additional Scottish twenties he was having none of it.

I asked him where the nearest bank machine was and he directed me 500m back up a one way street against the flow of traffic.
I thanked him for the directions and took the ?50 note back off him, telling him I was away to the bank and to wait there for my return.

Well as you can imagine with no working Sat Nav and it being my first time in Lisbon I never did find the bank or indeed the taxi driver again and somehow ended up on the A1 Northbound towards the Spanish border.

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I knew the A1 was a long road south of Edinburgh but never knew it extended to the Mediterranean.

This road is obviously one of the ones Soofy told me about that the EU had built for the Portuguese as it was empty, it was like having the M6 to yourself for a day, incredible. I set my cruise control to 100MPH and never had to alter it for over two hours.

I was a Iittle miffed that I had missed my photo shoot at the bridge and decided to head to Santander in a oner as I had had my fill of Portugal.

The ride was quite uneventful other than I kept seeing "Electronic Toll" cameras all the way up the A1 but I never knew how they would collect the money as they had front facing cameras and nothing else to identify the vehicle.

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I felt immediately better once I crossed back into Spanish territory even though I was still displaying my Catalan rebel flag that had upset the Valencia Police so much.

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There were Union flags being flown at the border and a monument to some battle that had occurred in 1811 with a wide range of countries getting involved, not like us British troops to get sent abroad to fight someone else's battles. Ho hum, war is good for absolutely nothing as the Boss says.

JimmyMac




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Great post jimmy. Sorry to read you didnt get on with portugal. I went on that motorway briefly on the way down, it is a nice ride from what I saw. I have little experience of Lisbon, but if its anything like Paris then like many capital cities it has its fair share of chancers. Btw did you make it?
 
Brilliant Jim , typical Fifer , lure the guy in with €50 then **** off , love it mate :)
 
After crossing into Spain I encountered very little traffic and enjoyed a bit of a wind down after the chaos of Lisbon.
I had made such good progress I stopped for fuel and refreshments in a small town called Fromista in Palencia.
The fuel here is not self service and you have the attention of the most beautiful garage attendants, Asda could learn a thing or two here.

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The small cafe bar around the corner had another of Spains most glamorous waitresses but modesty prevented me of photographing her as she was built like Carla from the Kenny Everett show and looked about 18 if that.


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For those of you too young to remember Captain Kremmen and Carla.

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After a couple of coffees and a ham bocadillo it was back on the road to Santander.

I arrived at my hotel which was on the promenade overlooking the marina and I was very impressed, it was of a really high standard and I drew a funny look from the outside waiter as I parked my bike on the pavement next to the seated eating area.

Upon check in I was reprimanded by the receptionist about parking on the pavement as "it is not allowed by local Mayor".

I promised I would move it once I had put my gear away and she told me that there was an underground pay parking area that I could use for ?15 a night and that there was a free car park at the marina but wasn't safe........

I had parked my bike on the pavement all over France Spain and Portugal and no one had ever taken the hump about it but to save any hassle I fired across to the marina, found the solo motorbike bay and locked up my steed to a post.

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I was absolutely knackered and went straight to bed around 8PM.

I was wakened about midnight by my room phone and was asked if I had a motorcycle parked in the marina and I feared the worst and instantly wished I had paid the fee for parking underground. The caller was the night shift porter who was struggling with English but managed to tell me my helmet had been stolen.

I scanned my room and couldn't find it, then remembered that I had left it on a bench as I chained my bike up, FFS.

I got dressed and went down to the lobby to see what the score was and a local person who had great english told me that someone had found my helmet on a bench and had popped into all the hotels in the area asking if they had a British biker in residence to let them know about it before it was stolen.

I ran out to my bike to find my helmet hanging on the throttle with the plastic tell tale of my disk lock wrapped through it. The finder was obviously a biker and had done their best to secure it.

I tried my best to find out who had done it to buy them a drink but they had already left, all I can say is thank you Senor.

The next morning I was up early to explore Santander as it had been 25 years since I was here last.

Some beautiful buildings here and water which reminds me of home.

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That's my taxi home in the middle.

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No handrail had my toes curling for grip as I took this photo.

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When I took this photo "Ferry Christmas" popped into my head, lol.

JimmyMac
 
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I had a good walk about the place and picked up a few souvenirs.

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I remembered that Stuart was asking about warm winter riding gear and I found just the shop that specialised in things to keep you warm in winter..........

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A tuna omelette roll was the breakfast of the day and several coffees really woke me up.

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A nice view of the Cantabrian mountains to the South.

Without realising it I had walked about 5 miles and suddenly felt the need to get rid of that tuna roll, a side affect of gallbladder removal is you get about two minute warning to find a bog or you are in deep shit, lol.

Luckily I managed to find an cafe in one minute 58 seconds and I avoided any international incidents although the Environmental Protection Authority might want to be visiting that cafe as I'm sure sure some of the staff turned green when I crawled out of "that"scene in Trainspotting.

A few more shops were visited and I picked up some earrings for my wife and had a good chuckle at the ring in the window of the jewellers.

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Better than I can, no doubt!


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Got back to the hotel without "sharting" and loaded up the beast for the last time on foreign soil, then headed for the boat.

JimmyMac


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