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Thread: Rough or Smooth Shag

  1. #1
    Forum Admin soofsayer's Avatar
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    Rough or Smooth Shag

    Bloke is out on the beers and gets to the end of the night and wants to find a hooker for some lovin. He comes across a brothel and staggers in.

    "I'm after a shag" he exclaims. A beautiful blonde hooker (probably called Joyce) sitting in the reception area replies "Ok, come with me."

    So off they go to a room upstairs. She turns the lights down and starts to undress, as does he.

    She says to the punter "Do you like it nice and rough or soft and smooth? Rough is 50, smooth is 100".

    "Oooh, rough, I like it rough", he replies (being a cheapskate), and passes her the cash.

    So they get into bed, she gets on top, and rides him like a bronco. It feels really, really rough, and soon enough he spills his beans.

    As they start to get up from the bed the punter says to the hooker: "That was brilliant, so I'm curious, whats the soft and smooth shag like?"

    "Like Ronseal", she says, "exactly what it says it is".

    "Go on then", says the punter, "can you do me again, this time soft and smooth?". He passes her the cash.

    The hooker agrees "Ok, just give me a minute", and she pops off to the toilet.

    A few minutes later she comes back into the room and climbs back on top and rides him once again. This time its smooth and soft, and soon enough he spills his beans again.

    As they are getting their clothes back on he turns to the hooker and asks the question:

    "How do you manage to do that? It's amazing how you can change from being so rough to so smooth."

    "It's easy", she replies, "I just peel the vd scabs off".


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  3. #2
    Standard Member Iain-s1000rr's Avatar
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    Re: Rough or Smooth Shag

    Wrong on so many levels hahaaha. I like the bit about the hooker being called joyce.... if the joke was based in helensburgh then it was definitely a joyce.

  4. #3
    1 YEAR PREMIER MEMBER DL84's Avatar
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    Re: Rough or Smooth Shag

    lol..... that's rotten soof.......

  5. #4
    2 YEAR PREMIER MEMBER Loupe's Avatar
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    Re: Rough or Smooth Shag

    Lol yuk!

  6. #5
    LIFETIME FORUM MEMBER stuartb's Avatar
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    Young Gypsy kid sticks her head out the caravan and shouts "mam mam what way do I put my knickers on again"... the mother shouts back.. "Jesus Christ Ive told you millions of times Yellow to the front Brown to the back"...
    Last edited by stuartb; 8th April 2016 at 03:18 AM.

  7. #6
    1 YEAR PREMIER MEMBER MacRR's Avatar
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    Re: Rough or Smooth Shag

    Thats bad but I can't stop laughing...

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