No legs !

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bananaman

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​Another oldie but good enough torepeat.

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, andsees a parrot sitting on a little perch.It doesn't have any feet or legs.Theguy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'The parrotsays, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.''Holy crap,' the guyreplies. 'You actually understood and answered me. !''I got every word,' says the parrot.'I happen to be a highly intelligent,and a thoroughly educated bird''Oh yeah?' theguy asks.
'Then answer this, how do you hangonto your perch, without any feet.?''Well,' the parrot says, 'this is veryembarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar,like a little hook. You can't see it, because of my feathers.''Wow,' saysthe guy. 'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?''Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse withreasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics,philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.You really ought to buy me, I'd be agreat companion.
The guy looks at the $200.00 pricetag 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'?Pssst,' says the parrot, 'I'mdefective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'The guy offers$20, and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.The parrot issensational.He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal,he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.The guy isdelighted.One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.'I don't know if I shouldtell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.''What are youtalking about,?' asks the guy.'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wifegreeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.''WHAT???' the guy asksincredulously.'THEN what happened?''Well, then the UPS man came into the house,and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported theparrot.'NO!' he exclaims, 'And she let him?''Yes. Then he continuedtaking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her allover.'Then the frantic guy demands,
?THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
?'DUNNO??

I got a hard-on, and fell off myperch!'
 
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